do it anyway

I have a fear of meeting people and making new friends. Considering I am more of the warm and fuzzy type, you would think this wouldn’t be an issue for me. But as I discovered during a recent session with Joy, it really is an issue. A big issue. And it’s one that I need to get over quickly since networking is so crucial to gaining clients for my new business.

Prior to talking to Joy about it, I really thought that the idea of meeting people just made me nervous. But a single question made me shake like a leaf.

“Why are you so afraid of going out and meeting new people?”

You know how people always say listen to your gut? Well, my gut spoke.

I was in fourth grade. We had moved to our new home only a few months before, and I was starting all over. New house, new city, new school, new teacher…new friends. At my last school, all of the kids were friends…from kindergarten to sixth grade. It really was an amazing thing, and something I grew to appreciate in my new environment. Because my new environment was all about cliques. How in the hell was I going to manage this?

I thought that I was doing great. I made friends relatively quickly and began hanging out with a group of girls that were a lot of fun. But one day that fun ended…for me.

I remember it like it was yesterday. We were standing right in front of the library at lunchtime. The girls wanted to talk to me. They made a decision that I didn’t fit in with their group. So they promptly kicked me out.

I can’t even explain to you the horror of that moment. Here I am, a naive nine-year-old girl being kicked out of my first group of friends. I can’t tell you how hard it was for me to get back up on that horse and make a new set of friends.

Here I am today, a grown women with her own kids, dealing with the same problem. It’s so crazy to me how one small incident from your past can alter your personality so much.

Joy challenged me to overcome this fear and get out there. So I did, and I am. I face this challenge every time I’m invited out…whether it be a party, a mixer, a get together, or a networking event. I have to literally talk myself into it. But guess what? The result of my hard work is a growing circle of new friends and contacts. And, I’m even having fun!

This leads me to my words of wisdom for today. I love this poem because it speaks to so many aspects of my life, and the fears that I am overcoming along the way. I hope you find this just as inspiring and pass it along.

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

~ Adapted by Mother Teresa

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~ by hpiazza on 07/06/2011.

4 Responses to “do it anyway”

  1. “H” I’ve known you for manys years now and the way you carry yourself in groups of people hides your fear well. I had no idea. As you know I came to a new school 6 weeks before the end of 7th grade… I can really relate to your fears.. I’m so proud of you for owning them and working past them. I should try that with my freeway fear.
    Love ya, Sandie aka other Ma

  2. Like mother….like daughter….sorry!

  3. You are so funny !!! Life is to short to worry about people who are not as cool as you are !!! Hope to see you soon.
    Candice

  4. You inspire me… Thank you for sharing. I always love your posts.

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